The Author sits down at his typewriter, musing:
Consider the situation: our hero has just gotten involved with a woman to one degree or another; perhaps he has kissed her or made love to her, perhaps they have had a torrid affair lasting several days or weeks or perhaps they have merely exchanged a few words and glances at a party or similar social occasion. In any event, he knows only two things; he is not sure of her feelings towards him and he has her phone number. Aye, there's the rub; the phone number. Is it real or not? If he knew her feelings then he would know but, of course, that is not the way it has happened. Or would he know in any case? What if she is as confused and unsure of her feelings toward him as he? Then the problem is the same as before, the unknown.
The phone number: is it real? One could answer that there is only one way to find out; to try it and see but is this the case? In the first instance, this is what our hero tries. Naturally, there is no answer. What does this signify? Perhaps she is out. Does she live alone? Then this would perhaps imply that all her living companions are out, also. Are they out together? is she perhaps in a relationship with one or more of them ? It would seem unlikely that she would be out with any of them if there were no relationship, if they were people with whom she just happened to share living quarters, or that they are all individually and separately absent but anything is possible. Assume then that she is out with someone with whom she shares a relationship. This seems natural, it is an uncommon and unpleasant experience to go out on ones own. Perhaps not as uncommon or unpleasant as one might think, depending on the person or the circumstances, but nevertheless the assumption is made, at least for the moment. What sort of relationship is it, then? Are they friends? Lovers? Husband and wife? Are they merely flatmates with nothing in particular in common sharing some free time together? Or is she in a deeply loving and committed relationship which she has endangered in a moment of utter madness but which meant nothing to her? Or perhaps she secretly longs for the affair to end so she can pursue her own life? Would she be interested in you in that case? Perhaps her lover is about to end it and she will be crushed and hurt. Maybe then she would be unable to love or trust again for a long time or perhaps ever. How long can you wait?
No, no; stop. We're fantasising wildly here, from just an unanswered phone. Maybe we just misdialed. Dial again, here we go. Okay, still no answer. It seems likely then that there is indeed no- one at home. We could try a third time but that seems paranoid, we already have best two out of three. What, then? Maybe she just went out for some food or a pint of milk. Maybe she is asleep or it takes along time for her to reach the phone. No, then she would have answered on the second call, surely. Alright then, she has just gone out for a moment or perhaps she has been out for awhile but is on her way back. Our next step seems obvious. Phone back in a little while. A while passes. Phone now? No, give it a little longer. Now? No, still too soon. Oh wait, this is silly; she doesn't know how long it's been since the last phone call, this just increases tension. Very well, phone now. Still no answer. Another wrong number? No, it was on auto- redial and the previous number is assumed to be right. Very well then, no-one in. Dial again later? Maybe yes, maybe no. What time is it? If it is morning she hasn't risen. If it is night she is sound asleep. How many phone calls can be made in a day? Regardless, there has to be a last one. Perhaps tomorrow.
The same problem on a larger scale. How many hours between phone calls? How many days? There has to be a limit. Is it the right number? What about the area code? What does that tell me? Is it one that I know? Could I look the number up in the phone book? Do I know her last name? Would it be listed under that if I did? Would it be listed at all? Is that the kind of behaviour I would expect from a moral human being? Does that matter? How many digits does the number have? Is it an out of town number? Is it a phone number at all? Is it just a random sequence of numbers? Is it an address? Is it a date? Is it a place where I can meet her? How can I interpret its meaning? How can it have a meaning? Can anything that has meaning be interpreted as a number? Does anything have meaning? Could the whole four-dimensional gestalt of my life be interpreted as stream of information like this number or a maze or a television signal or ..
"Hello. Who is this?"
"Oh hi. Could I speak to Her please?"
"I'm sorry, she's not in at the moment. I don't know where she is.
Could I take a message?"
"No, that's alright thanks. I'll call back later. Goodbye."
The Author gets up, extracts the last sheet and places it top of the rest. "Oh well, never mind. Maybe next time".